SWEGener Productions

Isn't Earth Day April 22nd?

2009-03-04T07:18:00.000-08:00

So on the way home from the beach I heardthis song(lyrics only sorry) on the radio...It made me really happy because it sings about April 21st, which is my birthday, and it praises the people born on that day...however...

Isn't Earth Day April 22nd?

Eco-friendly music

2009-03-04T07:15:00.000-08:00

God I love Neil Young...

Neil Young's newest effort is a nine song lp called "Fork in the Road."

IT'S ABOUT HIS CAR...a concept album about his car...He says that he hopes this album will help people try to make more eco-friendly cars...AWESOME!

BRILLIANT!!!

2009-02-24T16:15:00.001-08:00

So I came up with the brilliant idea of bringing my laptop to class so now I can just blog and waste time while my teacher is talking. I totally understand why people bring their computers to class...I can't even tell you what hes saying right now. But yeah all and all I had a pretty good day today, I had work at 4:45 in the morning which was tough cause I didn't get to sleep til like 2 last night. But I got home from work, jammed with jon, and then slept til 2, then I went to Chem, then i went back to sleep and woke up right before my 7pm World History class. So my day was pretty good. Jam sesh with jon was excellent. I wrote a new song that kinda sounds like this. but I like that song better than mine. Probably because its far more emo, but that's me. Allright I guess I'm heading back to class now...until next hour.

My Childhood

2009-02-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

!NOW! !ENTERING! !MY! !CHILDHOOD! ! !

I FOUND A NEW WEB DESIGN AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!

2009-02-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

YESSSSS!!! This day just gets better and better and better...I found a new web design that I LOVE!!! and for once I can actually control this one...expect huge updates. I should get most of the scripts up soon, and a lot of the lyrics, and soon I should even be able to add the stuff I'm working on that I haven't uploaded yet...I am so excited!!!

CLICK HERE to check it out

My mind's at peace...

2009-02-23T21:34:00.001-08:00

"I'd walk through fire
if you said I wouldn't burn.
I'd swim from Atlantic to Pacific
if you would meet me on the shore.
I'd climb a mountain
if you'd meet me at the top.
I can be everything you've needed
if you could just accept my flaws."

For the first time in a long time my mind is at peace and it is amazing. i had a really good night and I can't wait to write and write and write. I'm not gonna say anything besides I am happy. And there is hope...and that is all I need...Ok I have work at 4:45am so I'll catch you up at 10 when I'm home.

Catch up

2009-02-22T22:57:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, and I was starting to think that I gave up on this like I do on everything in my life...But I didn't I'm back and it's time to catch up...but of course I would like to vent first...It really bothers me that a person can judge so fast. Just because you don't tell someone you love them doesn't mean you don't love them. I in fact LOVE my exgirlfriend I do, she is an incredible incredible person and truly the only reason our relationship did not work is because she loved me too much. She in fact loved me so much that every little thing she did was for me. She spent every possible and imaginable second trying to impress me, or trying to make me smile, or trying to spend more time with me, or doing something just to make me love her. And it makes me feel like the failure...because I can't give her everything that she gives me. And it began to hurt her. I love her more than anything, and I always will, no other woman will ever compare to her, and honestly even at this moment no other women matter to me...She is still the only thing on my mind...She is a great person, and will always be close to my heart. I do love her...phew!

Welp now that's over, this weekend has been hard, I have tried to keep myself busy to help find myself again. I feel the last few months I have been fighting for something that was lost a long time ago. It is almost like I have forgotten who I am, and I need to refind myself before I can continue to live. I started playing the guitar again...A lot and I am so excited to say I have started writing new songs...incredible new songs...new songs that I am proud of, and I may be the most critical person I know. I played two of my new songs for Nick tonight, who happens to be a bigger critic than I myself, and he told me that he loves them too. That makes me feel sucessful and I can not wait til I can play the songs through the blog to show you what I have done.

Thursday was a hard night, a very very very hard night, I tried to explain to the person that I love the most, that things aren't working, and I tried to let her know that I want her to be there for me, but I just can't do it right now, I can't physically tolerate the tortured lives me lead. I love her I do, but we spend more time being miserable than we do being happy, and that is very difficult. SO after epically failing and not being able to communicate, as usual, I ended up leaving miserable and going to my cousins house. I got there and my cousin's consouled me which was awesome because i realized that I am loved, and I do have friends, and that I don't need to fight all the time, I don't need to be connected to a phone at all times, I don't need to be constantly nervous, I don't need to constantly impress, I have a life, and I can lead it, and that is an amazing feeling. Friday was a long day, I worked 2 shifts until 10 at night and then I went to Nick's again and let loose, I had a lot of fun but I woke up on Saturday exhausted, Saturday morning I worked a morning shift, got off and took a nap, I woke up in the afternoon, and started talking with Stephanie...Its really cool for us to talk right now, in fact right now, I am more hopeful for us than I have been in the longest time. Although we haven't seen each other since we broke up, we are actually talking, and not fighting, and we are both realizing that we both were wrong...It is a blessing in disguise but it is awesome, and it made me realize that this break did need to happen, and I stress break because that beautiful woman and i made so many amazing plans together, and I can't imagine my life any other way then we planned it. Well after that I ended up going to my Aunt's house to bake pizzia gaine (I think its spelt like that) It is best described as a meat, egg, and cheese pie that is quesh-like. It is heaven on Earth. After we were done with that we went to Hemmingway's bar in Seaside and it was amazing to be a 21 year-old and drink and dance, and be at a bar and let loose. It was so much fun, I now understand why it is the best year of your life. I crashed at my cousin's shore house, it was great. I woke up this morning and headed back to Freehold to celebrate Carnavale or the pizzia gaine celebration. It was a great family event, and the first that was drama free in a while. Again, another great time. Well just like all good things, Carnavale came to an end, and I headed to Nick's where I am now. Nick and I jammed and played Mariokart, then Nick passed out, and now I'm blogging.

Now I know this blog seems like my last few days have been amazing, but its kind of far from the truth. I wake up and things are great and then as fast as I was happy I begin to think about her again, and its all gone. There are countless occasions that I find myself crying for no reason, but I guess that's what happens when you do something hard. I am so glad that we are both learning, I just wish we could have done it together instead of apart...I hope she waits for me, because I am nothing without her...

Confused (DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR ME VENT)

2009-02-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened to me over the last few weeks, and it really makes me confused. I truly can't remember the last time I was happy for an extended period of time and that scares me. I invest a lot of myself into the things that I do. And whenever I try to do something I try to do it my best. For the most part people know me as a happy person, and to be unhappy sucks. I have never been unhappy like this I don't think. Even after the fiasco that was my first year of college I truly don't think I was this miserable. I spend a lot of my time giving out love. And to be called selfish really bothers me... It's something that sticks with me, and will stick with me for a while. I think the thing that hurts the most is it is not one person calling me selfish. A large group of my friends, or what I thought were my friends, have all managed to hurt me in the worst way possible over the last few weeks. I have heard things like selfish, uncaring, and takes advantage of. That is difficult for me to deal with when I constantly try to impress. I am the person that strives for attention, I always have been, and even after these events, I always will be. I've taken these criticisms and tried to evaluate my life to change it, and I don't think there is anything I can change. I am content with the person I am, and for the first time, I want to blame the people around me. THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT. Like I said these people are all of my friends, and have been for a very long time. I sit and I look at the last few years of my life and I notice that I have self-medicated myself through a lot of my problems. I'm broke, and by broke, I mean I have absolutely no money in the bank, and I owe my Dad well over $100, so for the first time this isn't an option. This leads to a very weird relivation for me, I realize now, that everytime I don't agree with someone's opinion of me, I usually concede to their thoughts, and smoke myself to believe them. Or I drink myself to believe them. I have been extremely emotional lately and I think its a good thing, because for once I am feeling. It may be the worst hurt I have ever felt in my life, but at least, I can feel it. I love a girl, absolutely 100 percent love a girl, and I have invested everything I have into it. And more than anything in the entire world I want to make it work. For the first time in my life, I know what it truly means to want to die for someone. I would probably in fact die for this girl. Don't take this as a suicide threat because it is the most opposite of that. I realize that she is my world and my everything, and I want to become a better person for her. The problem is right now, I don't even know myself, and I don't know how to go about finding myself. I think I am an addict, because everytime I think about all of these emotions, I also think about a way that I can find some weed, or a chance that I can pound a beer. This is so hard for me, and for everyone that is affected by my actions over the next few weeks, I am sorry, but I am trying to find myself without drugs and alcohol, and it is really really hard.

Scripts, Lyrics, and Other Projects I'm Trying to Revist (UPDATED)

2009-02-18T08:25:00.000-08:00

So I came up with a plan...and it scares me cause I'm not good at HTML, but I have decided that I am going to set up a website to chronicle my works in progress...I guess this goes back to the never finishing anything thing, but I'm trying to make a new effort so let's see where this goes. As you can see, I added a SWEGener Productions tab to the right of my blog, this is where I will add all the links for my newest endeavors... wish me luck...I need it...

UPDATE: I added the Lyric and Script Site to the right...expect big updates on that one over the next few weeks...This is kind of exciting...I'm really excited to actually complete projects for once...go me...

1:22am...the rebirth (UPDATED)

2009-02-17T22:54:00.000-08:00

So those of you that know me know that 98% of the time I say I'm going to do something I start it. And then 0% of the time I start something I finish it. And for a while now I have said I would start a blog. My cousin Phill has one and I become jealous of it all the time, I look at the things he posts, and the dedication and it just makes me wish I was that motivated. A few of you (Phill, Stephanie, and that's it) know that I even tried to start a blog once before. But that was an epic fail. And then a real minute amount of people (just Phill I believe) know how envious I am of Kanye's Blog...However I maintain that Phill is still more envious. But I actually got past starting the account up this time. And then I got past making a password and past the whole first blog thing and this is it... Today was a big day for me, really big actually, for approximately a month now, I have been searching for Matt Britt's number. I should have looked in this spot a long time ago, but I'm lazy and I didn't, long story short however, finally after a long search I have managed to relocate my long lost friend, and after a short discusion with my friend I am pleased to announce that I have found the motivation to rekindle a band that I once held dear to me. I have so many ideas in my head and so many projects I start and none that I ever finish. I think its time for me to go back to my roots. At 1:22am, I hung up the phone from the drummer of the band Stratford Drive and I am proud to announce the the rebirth of Stratford Drive will be happening... Will it be tomorrow? Absolutely not. Will it be next week? Probably not. But I know it will start in my basement and grow from there, just like it was in the beginning and I am more than excited o start this again and the only way I knew was through this blog. So welcome blog, and welcome Stratford Drive, it is time for a new beginning... by bringing us back to the beginning...

What songs will we start with, the beginning punk rock songs, the rock opera, or the later stand-alone songs? or will we start with a fresh slate...no one knows...not even I...I guess we'll have to just wait to find out.

On another note, I kind of like the idea of this blog, so thanks Phill. It will give me a place to sort my ideas and start to maybe finish some of the projects I started...I doubt it...but maybe...So welcome to the blog of SWEGener Productions...Home of my happy disaster...

UPDATE: At 2:05am I received a text from Cam (bassist) "Yes! keep me updated on that. id love to jam a bit and catch up"...Commencing the rebirth of Stratford Drive...